Reflections
by ggfan01
Summary: Always she wonders. Sometimes she knows. It always means everything. A series of drabbles. Lorelai's POV.
1. I

**Title**: Reflections

**Summary**: Always she wonders. Sometimes she knows. It always means everything.

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, I don't own Gilmore Girls.

**AN**: A few drabbles that explore Lorelai's mind. Please Review. Constructive Criticism appreciated.

* * *

The pressure was all consuming.

The demands forever irrational.

She wants to get away.

She _needs_ to get away.

She wonders how she has gotten this far.

She can't remember ever feeling complete.

(She can't remember ever feeling truly happy).


	2. II

**Title**: Reflections

**Summary**: Always she wonders. Sometimes she knows. It always means everything.

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, I don't own Gilmore Girls.

**AN**: A few drabbles that explore Lorelai's mind.

* * *

She (always) wonders if she did the right thing.

She wonders if she is capable of doing this (alone).

She (often) marvels that she (finally) has someone who needs her.

Sometimes she stops to wonder if it is actually true.

She questions if love is enough.

She (then) wonders how she could think that it isn't.

But she has to.

She holds someone else's life in her arms.


	3. III

**AN: **Thank you for all of the reviews. Keep them coming. :)

* * *

**Part 3**

She wonders if she is worthy of being important (of being essential to the life of another).

She questions if she has ever been loved unreservedly before her daughter came along.

She thinks sometimes (fleetingly) that she is not worthy of her daughter's unconditional love.

She wonders (always) if there was a time when she loved her parents the way her daughter seems to love her.

She questions if they ever loved her the way she loves her daughter.

Always she wonders.


	4. IV

**Title:** Reflections

**Summary:** A series of drabbles.

* * *

**Part 4**

She is in awe.

She is (to some extent) envious.

Even though she is just five, her daughter loves school in a way she never had.

(She vaguely wonders what the allure is).

She allows herself to hope that this will save her daughter from repeating her missteps.

She (momentarily) wonders however where she would be without her blue-eyed daughter.

She wonders _who_ she would be.


	5. V

**AN:** Here's the next installment. Please review! Tell me your favorite line or give me constructive criticism! Thanks. :)

* * *

**Part 5**

She wonders when it became routine to stop at the diner after seeing her daughter off to school.

She is unsure how long it was until he became such a vital part of her life.

She knows (absolutely) that he's always there for them because he _wants _to be.

She (somehow) knows it only took him a few minutes to become captivated with her daughter.

(And that it wasn't merely to get to her).

It amazes her how quickly and naturally he has become a father figure to her daughter.

She (secretly) hopes that one day she will find a man like him to love her and her daughter (forever).

She wonders if that person is right in front of her.

She (all too often) wonders if _he_ is that man.


	6. VI

AN: Just wanted to thank those who took a few seconds of their time to leave a review. Many people are reading the story but not leaving a review...please leave a review! As a writer I like to know what you enjoyed and I always appreciate constructive criticism. Thank You. :-)

* * *

**Part 6**

She marvels about everything she has accomplished.

She has a home of her own.

She has an associate's degree in business.

She runs her own inn.

She raised her daughter to be witty, smart and genuine.

(She often wonders how she could have possibly accomplished such a deed).

However despite all of this, she often thinks of what _could _have been.

She knows that none of this _would_ have been had she from the very beginning, dutifully given into everything her parents had wanted for her.

She understands that instead she would have attended an Ivy League school.

She would have married not for love but for connections.

She unpleasantly knows that children would have been solely regarded as heirs.

She shudders and knows (eternally) that she would have never survived that life.

She (decisively) acknowledges that her daughter saved her from a premature death.


	7. VII

**AN:** Thank you for reading...Please review!

* * *

**Part 7**

She knows that she is not perfect and she doesn't want to be.

She knows she is (fiercely) independent.

She recognizes that she doesn't trust or love easily.

She (secretly) acknowledges that this is why she can't tell _him_ that she cares.

(She cares deeply).

* * *

She knows that she doesn't forgive easily.

She (not so secretly) blames this trait on her parents.

She (secretly) holds onto the things she learned as a child.

She clings to regrets to shield herself.

She does not allow herself to be vulnerable.

* * *

She wonders if people can see through the mask she (always) wears.

A mask perfected from her years in society as a child.

She wonders if _he_ can. (He can).

She wonders if he knows that he is the man she wants to spend her life with. (He hopes).

That he is the man who haunts her dreams at night.

That he is the man who helped her raise her daughter to the bright young woman she is today.

That he, along with her daughter, helped her find herself.

That he is everything. (Everything).

(She secretly hopes).

* * *


	8. VIII

AN: This is the last drabble. Thank you to those who took the time to leave reviews. I greatly appreciate it.

When I started this series of drabbles I never imagined that this is the way I would end it. I guess my muse just took over the day I wrote this. :-)

Once again, thank you and please leave a final review!

* * *

She is dying.

No one knows (yet).

She wonders what they would say.

She doesn't know what to say.

She has (only) six months to live.

* * *

Finally she is going to tell _him_ how she feels.

She regrets that she didn't do it sooner.

Ultimately, she regrets that death has made the decision for her.

* * *

Her parents stand to the left staring sadly.

She knows that (now) they regret that they didn't tell her everyday that they loved her and are proud of what she accomplished.

She knows that they wish they could go back.

She understands that they would cherish her if they could be given another chance.

Unfortunately she knows that this is impossible.

Sadly, she acknowledges that that was not the relationship they were meant to have.

She can however take these last few moments and savor them.

She can die knowing that they do love her and that luckily they can have that relationship with their granddaughter.

* * *

The words "I Love You" whisper from her lips.

They hang between her daughter and the man she loves.

She takes her last breath.

As the white light overtakes her all she sees is the tears running down their cheeks and the feeling of their palms in her hands.

**FIN**


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